The concept of self-care has now been turned into superficial and cutesy behaviors such as face masks and drinking tea. But self-care is much more than just indulgence and making yourself feel good with easy methods. True self-care also involves doing and saying things you’ve been avoiding, things that pain you to do. When it comes to the work we do on ourselves, it’s never an easy road nor is it always fun. Emotional work is a huge component of self-care that we as Black women fail to work through more often than not because we never really know where to start. We have so many complexes, so much trauma, and long-standing issues that we simply push to the back of our minds. In doing that, we let those issues fester up and manifest until it eats us alive and it feels like it’s too late to even turn back.
Life is short but it’s also long. It’s never too late to reinvent yourself and improve for the better. And you don’t have to wait until the new year to do it, that change can start right now. The sooner the better.
1. Hold Yourself Accountable
Everything isn’t always someone else’s fault. It’s important that we learn to practice humility and humble ourselves, to put our ego aside and realize that sometimes we were in the wrong. Pointing fingers when you get yourself into a sticky and unsavory situation can only take you so far in life. When you own up to what you’ve done, it becomes a learning experience. You take what you’ve learned from your mistakes and practice it in everyday life to make better choices for yourself in the future.
2. Get It Done
Procrastination is a demon that manifests from fear. Fear of not executing something completely right, fear of failure, fear of something going wrong. Fear of the unknown really, because you never actually know what’s going to happen since you haven’t even tried or begun yet. Putting off important tasks and work that needs to be done will only stress you out even more down the line. Suck it up, breathe, and simply dive in and do it. Clean your home, finish that assignment, go to that appointment, have that conversation you’ve been dreading. Do whatever it is that you need to do in order to clear your To-do list and your conscience.