Dark-Skinned women, you have options; not just romantically but you have options in your friendships, the people you associate yourself with, and the activities that you choose to do. Many times, i’ll see black women like me who have opened themselves up to interracial and intercultural dating, but have not extended the same to their friendships. I used to be one of those women who had partners of different races, yet only had black friends and went out of my way to only associate with other black people.
I think that a lot of it was wanting to still be accepted by the community and to validate my blackness despite my non-black partner. To be honest, I wasn’t happy. In my all black sphere I dealt with a lot of subtle colorism and all anyone wanted to talk about was the black struggle while simultaneously ignoring colorism. We only went to the black clubs, drank Henny, and only did activities that we thought were prescribed to black people.
Then I moved to Phoenix and all of the sudden I had only non-black friends. My ex-fiance who is white and a grad student at Arizona State became friends with other grad-students, who in turn became my friends even after our relationship ended. I was thrown into a social group made up of White, Arab, Asian, and non-black biracials who I very quickly found, had much more than not.